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10 Hardcore Sewing Machine T-Shirts

Posted by James Wolfensberger on

There are countless T-shirt options related to sewing in general, and quite a few specific to vintage sewing machines. Many are cute with familiar phrases like "Keep Calm & Sew On," or "Sew much to do..." - you've probably seen them.

But what about the shirts for the person who prefers an edgier style? For the rock n' roller? For the bold collector of true heavy metal?

Are you hardcore enough for these 10 shirts?

1) Do It Yourself Or Die

She's smiling, but she's ready to give her life if you won't let her sew on her Pfaff 130. Or is she suggesting we sew or die? Either way, the artist behind this shirt picked one of the toughest, most respected machines imaginable for such a fierce proclamation. Probably not your grandmother's first choice - unless Grandma is a real bad ass.

2) Eat, Sleep & Sew

This design may not look so cutting edge and the concept is familiar, but think about the message. It's somewhere between whimsical and "I don't care if you're in the hospital. I already ate and slept... but I still gotta sew. Good luck with your surgery." Plus you get to show off your muscles.

3) Patent No. 4750

Walking around with Elias Howe's patent image will likely result in people peering at the design and asking what it all means to you. "It means I bleed SMO," is the appropriate response.

4) Never Underestimate the Power

This one has that rock n' roll angel effect with a brass and silver color scheme - wearing something that looks like Steven Tyler circa 2005 says "Who cares what's in style?" If I were a woman I'd make my husband wear it, along with a collar and leash.

5) Postmodern Tribal Totemic Treadle, Jester, Mechanical Duck, and Mushroom Tee

Did you read the name of this shirt? A treadle, a jester, a mechanical duck, and a mushroom? I don't know anything about psychedelic mushrooms, but is that one of them and would that explain this design? The important thing is that everything rests upon the treadle, because treadles can handle that kind of responsibility without being a sissy about it.

6) 1885 Sewing Machine

The bold images on this shirt can be seen a city block away. They know you're an antique machine die-hard long before you get there. Add some motorcycle boots and a scowl and they're sure to get out of your way.

7) Stitch Settings

Sometimes we vintage sewing machine collectors tend to geek out on the technical specs and features of our favorite machines. This shirt takes the passion for stitch selection to a whole new level. To the unenlightened, it looks like some sort of radio wave identification chart for communicating with aliens. Literally 9 out of 10 people won't know what the hell this is about, hence... hardcore geek.

8) Carolina

This shirt features another bold design and a somewhat obscure sewing machine model. Very cool. Plus, you know what North Carolina is famous for, right? Tar Heels. That term has a few possible origins, with one of them dating back to the Revolutionary War. Some say the North Carolinians dumped tar in a river to slow down the British soldiers, leaving the redcoats with the black stuff stuck to their feet. None of this has anything to do with sewing machines. Big deal, I'm going to get one anyway and up my street cred.

9) Iron Sew

Here's another one you'll have to explain to a lot of people. Except you won't explain it. Because you don't explain yourself. Ever.

10) Need It Bad

This shirt says "Seam Stress. Need to Sew. Need it Bad." I hate to think what this guy will do if he doesn't get what he needs. I think someone might get hurt.

Have just another few minutes? Please take our VSM Collectors Survey. :)

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